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Charles Pazdera: Real Strength
Vince Gabriele
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The other day we lost one of the strongest kids in the world. I refer to him as a kid because that is how I knew him. Charles was about six years younger than me and we grew up together as close family friends, even though far apart in age. You could never refer to him as a kid anymore. No kid could ever stare cancer in the face for 3 years and walk tall the entire time, never ever once saying why me. This was a man. Charles is now pain free and waiting for us. He defines the word strong.

In the training world we view strong as 500 pound squat or a 600 pound deadlift. Charles had a different strong. Early in his battle with cancer he had a major surgery that required the removal of his entire right scapula, shoulder joint and collar bone to try to remove the tumors. This was not some minor procedure – this was 12 hours of hell that would handicap Charles for life.

I knew Charles was very into lifting weights. I had trained Charles for a few months back in 2002 before I moved to California and I remember how dedicated he was that summer in the weight room. In fact, the way he found out about his cancer was from a visit to an orthopedist about an ailing shoulder that he assumed was from lifting.

What would you do if someone ripped out the major bones of your back and shoulder?

Most would not go to your friend and ask for an exercise program to work around it. This is exactly what Charles did.

I was not really sure how Charles was going to able to lift any weights. I wrote Charles a program where he was able to train his lower body with minimal use of his right arm. We have a safety bar at the gym so he was able to squat with minimal stress to his surgical area. For his posterior chain we used 45 degree back extensions, again minimal stress to his upper back, and these rocked his glutes and hamstrings and Charles loved them. I have not prescribed a Swiss ball crunch in years but when I looked at his program I added them along with Front Planks for his core. Again minimal movement and stress to his surgical area.

His upper body work consisted of Neutral Grip Incline Push-Ups and Blast Strap Rows. When he pulled himself up on a set of Blast Strap Rows he was crooked and the reps looked like he was pulling with only one arm but after each set he would smile and say “it’s so great to be back in the gym.” The push-ups were tough for him and range of motion was minimal but I still see him in the corner of the gym doing his best.

Charles loved arm work. I could tell that before Charles got sick he trained his biceps and triceps like crazy, typical college kid trying to look good. We put those in and that was like dessert for Chaz. Again, they were not pretty but just watching him perform DB Curls and Band Pushdowns made me so proud of him. I loved the face he would make when it really burned. He always had a smile and never once complained that something hurt.

For Charles’s cardio we just did steady state walking on the treadmill at 140 BPM for about 30 minutes. I guess I prescribed this because I wanted him to be around the gym longer.

When you do not feel like getting up for work, think of Charles. When you get to the end of your workout and you do not feel like doing intervals, think of Charles. When it burns toward the end of your set, think of the smile on Charles’s face after his arms burned. When you are having trouble starting an exercise program after it’s been a few years, take a long look at both of your arms and legs and your cancer free body and then tell me you can’t, better yet, tell Charles you can’t. I am not sure if he will have any sympathy for you. Then again, he might, this is how incredible this young man is. Full of life, smiles and love – and unfortunately cancer.

Charles’s funeral was like a party. It was a celebration of a young man that taught us so many things about perseverance, bravery, toughness, stubbornness and love. The number of people that showed up for Charles was incredible. It showed how much he meant to so many and confirmed the footprint he leaves on all who knew him — or about him — and how missed he will be.

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things i try to live by – Carlton Cullins 2008

1. Don’t sweat the small sh*t. Being overly sensitive to too many things is not good for survival.
2. Find humor in EVERYTHING, particularly the small things. Laugh everyday. Then when that’s done, do it again.
3. In life, try to find some kind of balance with it all…between the many peaks and valleys… everything in moderation.
4. Try to have purpose for the things you do. Don’t just do to do. Anyone can do that. Find good reason. And always keep your eyes on the prize, whatever that may be. Stay focused.
5. Think before you open your mouth. While at the same time, speak up when you really have something to say. But understand that not everyone is going to want to hear what’s on your mind.
6. Don’t be so wasteful. Americans waste too much as it is. What we call poor is rich to most of the rest of the world. Don’t take more than you need of anything and give back what you don’t use whenever possible.
7. Don’t expect anything from anyone. Ever. Learn to be self-reliant. But when you really need help, don’t be afraid to ask. And if someone does help you, then pay them back or pay it forward.
8. Take care of your business. When you play, play hard. When you work, don’t play. Earn your keep.
9. Realize your importance and also your insignificance. One person can truly make a difference but also know that we are all just little organisms on one small planet in one small universe. Again, try to find some kind of balance. Good luck with that.
10. Help people that need help. Any help is better than no help. A world without help is a world without hope.
11. Be kind to others, particularly strangers. And if they’re rude, make sure they know they are or they’ll never see the need to change.
12. However extravagant or humble, be thankful for everything that you have. Every day. In every way. For one day it may all be gone.
13. Power is nothing without passion.
14. Appreciate the things you don’t understand or don’t believe in. Don’t be so quick to judge everything and everyone.
15. Try to think outside the box. Imagination is very powerful and very important. Possibly most important.
16. Always try to go for the Win/Win situation. It doesn’t always have to involve compromise. The best ideas usually come when both parties work together towards an even better idea.
17. Take care of your body. Take care of your mind. Take care of your heart, as well as your emotions. Take care of you spirit. Every day, in every way.
18. When someone helps you, tell them thank you.
19. Don’t let the people you care most about never hear you say that you love them.
20. People make mistakes. We all do. Learn from them. Try to fogive others for their mistakes. Try to forgive yourself for your own.
21. Always shoot for the stars because anything is possible. But also understand that sometimes there really are limitations.
22. There are many roads to the same destination. If one doesn’t work, simply pick another.
23. Learn to have self-control. Do this by getting out in the world. Because life is full of temptation. Every day. In every way. Without self-control, no one stands a chance in hell for the long run.
24. Stay away from negative thoughts and negative people. We are all a product of our environments.
25. Understand that somewhere, within us all, is an unlimited amount of love in our hearts. Everyone will experience pain and suffering. And nothing feels better than true happiness.
26. Understand that if you’re not truly happy in your own life, that no drug, relationship, amount of money, material possession or ANYTHING is ever going to change that. Only you can make that change. But first you have to believe that you can.
27. You can’t please all the people all the time. But you can’t just please yourself all the time either. Again, there has to be balance. And F*ck the haters 🙂
28. If you’re not doing anything about the things you don’t like in the world (or in you own life), then consider yourself part of the problem. Try to be more pro-active.
29. Mind your own damn business. But also never let anyone mind your business better than you.
30. Pride is important. So is confidence. But too much pride and too much self-confidence/ego just makes you another f*cking asshole. Don’t be an asshole. We have entirely too many as it is.
31. Might isn’t necessarily right. But when push comes to shove, you do have to fight. Because chances are, that no one will fight for you if you don’t fight for yourself.
32. Focus on the things that make us all the same, our commonality, rather than the things that make us all different. Respect diversity. When it comes to things such as religion and politics, try to focus on the BIG picture rather than little snapshots. And just agree to disagree. Because one thing is for sure, most will almost always disagree.
33. Take responsibilty for your own actions. Every day, in every way. Cuz chances are, it’s our own fault.
34. When you’re wrong, you’re wrong. Admit it and move on.
35. Don’t live in the past. Don’t obsess over the future. But do consider it and plan accordingly. Try to live for the moment because nothing beyond this moment is for certain. Try to find some kind of balance.
36. Humility is important. But i can’t tell you how or why… some things you just have to learn for yourself.
37. There isn’t much certainty in the world. And religion, in my opinion, is about as far from certainty as one can get. There are many religions, many beliefs. And for the most part, each one uniquely thinks they’re the one that’s right. Some people do good with religion in their lives. Some don’t. But just do what’s best for you, in your own heart, in your own life. Even if it’s not what all the others around you are doing. Besides, chances are, we’re all wrong anyway…unless we’re truly humble.
38. We all have our good sides and our bad sides. Learn to make friends with both. They may be one in the same.
39. Maybe life really isn’t fair. Maybe only the strong really do survive. For the most part, i think both statements are probably true but maybe not in the same way others do. Sometimes things such as this, have many interpretations by many different people. Rarely assume anything… because you might make an “ass” out of “u” and “me”.
40. in my mind, truly “smart people” aren’t the one’s with high IQ’s, but the ones that, despite what obstacles they might have to overcome, continuously and deliberately utilize their own abilities to enjoy happiness in their own lives while simultaneously encouraging happiness in others. and do so while doing as little harm as possible. in other words, strive to be happy. the rest will hopefully sort itself out.
41. Honesty is most imortant. But ironically, like Jack said, most people can’t handle the truth. Particularly when it’s something they really don’t want to hear. But in time, the truth always wins. Just hope it’s not after you’re dead and gone. Speak the truth and the truth shall set you free.
42. In life, even fools are right sometimes. I didn’t actually come up with this one. Sir Winston Churchill did. Smart man he was.
43. Regardless of the many differences we have as a species, eventually we ALL must learn to tolerate each other. Eventually, we ALL must learn to live together and get along. All one can do is try. Start today.
44. Pick your battles wisely. Everybody is passionate about something. But always remember as with anything, what goes up must come down. Likewise, with everything, there’s always a price to be paid in the end.
45. Don’t take yourself too serious. Be careful taking anything too serious.
46. Laugh some more. Then laugh again…

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